People often search for training because they are stuck. For some, the need to build trust, for others, changes in behavior or skills development. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, their progress is unambiguously held. The situation can be as annoying for bosses, college and family members as it is for the individual.
Organizational Psychologists Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey developed the theory of "competitive commitment" to explain what they say "personal immune system for change." 1 The idea is that when people engage in behavior that reduces their ability to earn income they really want, the cause could be deeply held by an internal belief that acts in opposition to the conscious desire. When these attitudes are revealed, a change is possible.
The following is a customized version of Kegan and Lahey strategies for defining competitiveness: Start by mentioning something you have committed to do, have or achieve. Next, ask yourself what you are doing or not to do before the change takes place. Third, reflect what your actions or actions indicate that you may be more committed (this is the obligation). Finally, specify the assumption that supports a competitive commitment.
Here are two examples of how the customer's training worked with this technology.
Sharon had been unhappy for her work for several years. Although she knew she wanted a textile design, we always try to change areas after two weeks of semi-heart surgery. She had also recently interviewed two jobs in her field (which she did not like) and was planning to launch a long and expensive program to identify practices (as she already knew).
When Sharon attempted to compete, the answers look like this: I'm committed to working as a textile designer … Instead of looking at what training is required, I apply for jobs that I know in my heart , I do not know I want … My bigger commitment is to my current job, where I'm happy … I suppose even though I'm training for design, I'm not creative enough and nobody will hire me.
David had talked for more than a year to find a partner to expand his business and take some of the pressure to "do everything" by himself. However, constantly analyzing some suitable candidates he felt interested in working with, negotiations always broke down in the eleventh hour, usually over insignificant information.
David noted his commitment to competitiveness as follows: I am committed to finding the right business partners … I refuse to focus on small requests and blow the contract last minute … My bigger commitment is to be independent … I assume an affiliate means I will answer the boss and will not be able to call the bill.
It may take time to recognize the competitiveness commitment and the guarantee of underwriting, so if you try this exercise, do not hesitate to answer all the questions at once. After completing this process, a real work will be done to change profound assumptions, which also requires perseverance and often the assistance of a coach or mentor.
The first step in claiming a prerequisite is to start to notice when you respond to a certain belief in yourself, other people or circumstances. Then you can see how your leads are to prevent you from getting the results you want. See if you can figure out how it came from – people can spend their lives in obedience to false assumptions that began in childhood. Start comparing "indicators of the opposite" that shows how your premise is not always true.
Then design a "flight plan" to start testing new ways to think or behave. Select any or minimize actions, such as shadowing someone who has worked at work or skills you want, volunteer, informative interview, or joining a group or two. The key is to take action and do something else. Only taking a step towards a deliberate goal sends strong message to the subconscious mind that you are committed to achieving your goal. In my work, I've seen that it sometimes happens that people who commit to action seem to attract people and situations they need to continue.
1 "The Real Reason People Will Not Change" by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey, HRB Onpoint, © 2001 Harvard Business School Publishing Corp.