One of the basic skills as defined by the ICF (International Coach Federation) is "training presence". The way I evaluate myself as a trainer for this skill is the one I can see and show the customer. My understanding of compassion has also changed over the years. According to Wikipedia, "compassion is a special human feeling caused by the pain of others. Beware than compassion, the feeling is generally interested in relieving other suffering." I have learned not to put my power down to reduce others' suffering but to understand and facilitate the understanding of the client's suffering. When they admit they are suffering and they are going to suffer, it is up to them to not experience it anymore. I want to share the path that has led me to this place, as I think this is one of my biggest gifts as a coach.
I thought compassion is what most people have naturally and if you do not, you must be inaccurate. It was back on my judgment day. Now I have tried to understand what makes me merciful when I am merciful and when I do not because I have learned that there are many pity and we can easily be pity if we are not careful as coaches. As I step back and look at the big picture, I realize that the road to compassion is tied to what I refer to as: heart-center curiosity.
Wikipedia further states: "Strong curiosity is the main concern of many scientists." In fact, its development is a marvel or admiration of general curiosity that makes a person want to become an expert in the field of knowledge. "In the case of training, if we can be curious, we are in amazement, admiration, and our full desire to know. If we desire to cover us, we can improve our knowledge of What Curiosity Is About I'd like to take this step and I refer to it as a heart-centered curiosity. What if our prerequisite for this desire to understand was not just to search for knowledge but also to find out what It's all about. So, when it comes to training: I'm curious to understand what a customer is feeling and I do this by leading me to the place where the customer is. It's like we're passing by wit in close proximity with This willingness to go there and our ability to demonstrate that we are there is training by creating a safe space. It does not matter to me li what the customer is experiencing when they know you are there with them, without your agenda or conviction, you are there only because they are there, is when miracles occur.
Heartache curiosity is when you need to understand both spiritually and emotionally. In other words, we seek to understand the whole person in front of you and you can only do this if you use all your self in that process. Some call this active listening. Listen to each cell in the body, but I want to go further, it's also an understanding of everything being fully integrated. We can only achieve this level of understanding, if we are fully present. It sounds simple, but it's not easy. There are so many disorders, it's worse to be a coach of own reviews, doubts, stories, etc. Being completely present means that as a listener we must accept ourselves and wherever we are on our own journey.
This is deliberately why I choose to be a coach. Training gives me the opportunity to be good, patient, to accept and love myself. If I'm not good, patient, accepting and loving myself, I can not be a very successful coach. Very effective coaches are ruthless to their customers through each turn of the road. They are not busy trying to fix the customer or solve solutions, they only hold the space and participate in the customer on their journey. True compassion, indispensable for a successful "training presence" comes from the heart-centered curiosity and be present every step of the way.
Read more of spiritual life coach Sherry Bakhtian or see her spiritual art by clicking on the links in this sentence.