Verifications are the key to success. They can be used to inspire us, encourage us, and even customize the ways of thinking that we have formed through our lifestyle.
The development of unavoidable thinking begins at a very young age. I can only imagine how many people have gone through the youth hearing of negative messages over and over. Perhaps in your youth, you often found verbal jabs telling you that you never did anything right, that you were always on your way, that you were not as good a "sibling", etc. No matter how old you are, these words are harmful and after a while we begin to incorporate them into how we perceive the world around us.
For a child, however, to withdraw, conquer words to think patterns that shape communication over a lifetime. Just as we would practice brushing our teeth, dressing up for the day, or sleeping habits, we would practice what we think. Moreover, if you have ever run a familiar destination to come and not remember part of the drive because you were on autopilot, you better understand how automatic talk is.
As parents, we have an incredible opportunity to help our children create good thinking habits from an early age. While no parent is perfect, we can do our best to drive us. One small change that tends to make a huge, lifelong difference is the emphasis on giving the children confirmation.
As I have been thinking of this article, I have found more emphasis on being more deliberate in my two-boy confirmation.
"You are sweet and good!"
"You are such a great brother!"
"You are so clever!"
"You are creative!"
"You have a great imagination!"
"You are a very good helper!"
"You are good at finding solutions to problems."
"You are so loved!"
"I love you!"
"I am so grateful that you are mine!"
I have two very strong, determined, determined boys who often need rebounds. I've found that thinking about offering frequent confirmations (outweighing corrections) has also been helpful in my own ability to deal with annoying behaviors, which in turn helps to keep these behaviors from increasing. recommend as often or as soon as possible.
When you think of offering frequent confirmations, parents sometimes have to make openings. A fun way to do this is through the game! Children work with their feelings and experience through play. They learn about the world through play. Playback is childhood. Because playing with your children provides many opportunities for affirmation.
When playing with your children with a view to giving them confirmation, do your best to avoid giving orders (telling them what or how to play) or asking their games ("are you dying blue? "). As silly as it may seem to you, think of yourself as an enthusiastic announcer. "You are painting the tree blue! You have a great imagination!" "You are building a very high tower!" For an older child, maybe, "This cake you made is amazing!" Or, "You're so creative. I love watching you work on ____."
What specific affirmations you choose, keep it all positive (avoid "not," "not", etc.) and encourage. Remember, the words you say to your children on a daily basis will now play a role in shaping their experiences for the rest of their lives. Emphasize providing them with a solid foundation for healthy thinking.