Have you ever been in a situation where your spouse was distraught about any event, told you what happened and then was upset with you after you responded? We all know the danger of issuing "word of wisdom". But when we are betrayed by someone in situations that are emotionally volatile, we often don't know how to give them what they say they want, especially when they're not even sure how to ask for it! The key to maintaining harmony is to understand and avoid using a style of listening that impedes the communication process.
Let's look at a typical scenario and then apply each style to it:
Your colleague just had a dispute in the workplace and he or she cares about it. You listen for a few minutes, then you answer.
1. Quizzing and probing – "Did you expect it? Are you sure you didn't start?" All that is absent is a bulb that hangs from the ceiling and you become a "detective" who is investigating. Eventually, your partner will find a query and will soon regret elevating this topic.
2. Analysis, Interpretation, Analysis – "You are not reliable enough, you do not stand on your ground." A personal "CSI model" approach to the situation will not cause your partner to perceive or accept.
3. Consulting – "You should just go out and watch a movie so you don't have to think about it too much." Counseling is rarely helpful, as it requires you to know your spouse as well as they know themselves, which is not possible.
4. Placating and relocating – "Don't worry, everything will work out." You are a good chance to look at yourself as not being caring or not interested because you are not trying to figure out how your partner felt about it.
5. Judge and evaluate – "You shouldn't feel so bad … a lot of people are in trouble at work." Such a response, even when you are promising or accepting your spouse, may allow you to put yourself or him, as if you are better off and the right to make such judgment.
Now that you've seen some models to prevent, here's one you can use will be value:
Understanding and emphasis is also known as sympathy . It is powerful and is a skill that can be learned from someone.
Here is a significant response to workplaces described at the beginning of this article:
"You find  choose the appropriate attitude ] because you want [ Describe what you believe your spouse wants ]. "You want to connect both your feelings and your desired solution. Even if you have certain feelings that your partner has and a specific outcome that he or she wants to achieve in this situation, your partner will prevent emotional salvation because he or she will feel as if they were " heard ".